March 19, 2011
Bitterness or Joy
As I settle into middle age, I find myself observing others in my generation and wonder if bitterness comes with age. I find that I am complaining much more…about everything! I feel bitter and angry and I see others who respond to life in the same manner and I have to ask…what happened? Did many dreams of yesteryear shatter, thus creating indifference and bitterness towards the here and now?
I wonder if bitterness comes more out of giving up and stopping our progress forward in life. I have been sidetracked from my life goals, but my hopes and dreams remain intact and somehow I always refocus my direction. A path that swerves is not always a bad thing. If I remain flexible and accept change, more doors open for me. Granted, the direction that I originally followed has taken me longer due to the swerves, bumps, hills, and mountains I have encountered, but I have become a richer person for it. I would have missed some of my enriching experiences if I was not sidetracked.
I have come to a realization that my complaining, regret, and bitterness are a direct result of self-talk. You know the talk: I am getting too old, my kids will be grown up before I have a chance to give them opportunities that many children have, my brain works too slow, I am tired and I do not feel well. My self-talk has turned into a big pity party and it stops me in my path. I am the one who stops me and no one else does. I am the one who can change my opinions about my capabilities.
So does this thought answer my question about bitterness or joy as we age? My life has been very interesting for the past few years, true. The way I view my experiences are up to me, and I believe that I have viewed them in a very negative way; thus, creating bitterness. Does this create bitterness in others my age? Perhaps, but what I do know is my own experience. So my thought is this; always remember that it is never too late to realize your dreams, never give up, be flexible, talk kind to yourself, and as you move forward, remember your progress so far and never stop.
